De-Stressing Yourself: What Might Help, and What to Do If It Doesn't

Sometimes life feels harder than it should, and that's a normal, human experience, not a personal failing. There's genuinely useful stuff below, but none of it is a cure, and it won't work the same way for everyone. Please don't take any of it as another thing to get right or wrong.

Why This Can Feel Harder Than It Sounds

A lot of common stress advice, including some of what's below, quietly assumes you already have the energy and motivation to act on it. When you're genuinely struggling, that's often exactly what's missing, and that isn't laziness or a lack of willpower. Low energy and low motivation are common symptoms of stress, anxiety and low mood, not character flaws.

It's also really common to end up criticising yourself for not managing to exercise, eat well, or "get organised", on top of whatever you were already finding difficult. That inner voice telling you that you should be coping better is worth noticing, because it usually isn't helping, and it isn't telling you the truth about your situation.

If a whole routine feels like too much right now, it's worth knowing about a technique called behavioural activation, used in therapy for low mood, which suggests starting much smaller than feels adequate: getting out of bed, opening a window, stepping outside for two minutes. The size of the step matters less than taking it at all, and "smaller than you think you need" is a perfectly reasonable place to start.

Things Some People Find Helpful

None of the below are obligations, cures, or a checklist to complete. Different things genuinely work for different people, and some may not work for you at all, that's normal, not a failure. Try what appeals, drop what doesn't, and please don't add "not doing enough of this list" to your list of worries.

For your body

• Listen to music you enjoy. It's a simple, accessible way to shift your mood.
• Try a few minutes of mindfulness or meditation, if it appeals. Sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing has been linked to lower reported stress levels for many people. For others, sitting with their own thoughts feels uncomfortable rather than calming, and that's a completely reasonable reaction, not a sign you're doing it wrong.
• Practise slow, deep breathing if you notice yourself feeling anxious. Breathing out for longer than you breathe in can help calm your body's stress response in the moment.
• Move your body when and if you have the energy for it. Even a short walk can genuinely lift your mood, partly through the release of endorphins, but this is exactly the kind of thing to scale down, not force, on harder days.
• Eat regular, balanced meals where you can. Very high or very low blood sugar can affect your mood and energy, so moderating sugar and caffeine, and not skipping meals, tends to help most people feel more even through the day.

For your mind

Make time for something you enjoy, not just your responsibilities, when you're able to. All work and no downtime takes a real toll on most people over time.

Keep any plans realistic and forgiving. Being organised helps more than the plan itself, but a plan that only works when everything goes right isn't much use to anyone.

Aim for a consistent sleep routine where you can. Most adults need around seven to nine hours a night, and going to bed and waking up at similar times each day, alongside winding down screens beforehand, tends to help more than chasing extra hours occasionally.

Looking at Your Thought Patterns

Stress and low mood often come with a running commentary of self-critical thoughts, things like "I should be managing better than this", "everyone else copes fine", or "I'm lazy". Learning to notice these thoughts, and question whether they're actually true or fair, is a core part of therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and it's a genuinely learnable skill.

It's also a hard one to do alone, especially while you're in the middle of it. If you notice this pattern in yourself and it feels difficult to shift on your own, that's exactly what counselling or therapy is for, not a sign you've failed at self-help. See the box below for how to access this, including a route that doesn't need a GP appointment first.

When It Might Be Time for Extra Help

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, stress builds up in ways daily habits alone can't manage. It's worth paying attention if you notice:

• Struggling to concentrate at work, school, or in daily tasks
• Using alcohol, drugs, smoking or gambling to cope with how you're feeling
• A noticeable change in your eating habits, either much more or much less than usual
• Ongoing sleep problems, whether that's not being able to switch off, or sleeping far more than usual
• Persistent worry or fear that feels hard to control, even if you can't always explain why
• Everyday tasks feeling much harder than they used to
• Withdrawing from friends, family, or things you'd normally enjoy
• Feeling persistently low, or having thoughts of not wanting to carry on

None of these mean you've failed at coping. They're signs it's a good time to talk to someone, and that's worth doing sooner rather than later.

You also don't need to wait until you recognise several of these before reaching out. Getting support early, before things feel like a crisis, is a genuinely responsible thing to do, not just for yourself but for the people around you too, and it tends to be both easier and more effective. A lot of people worry that reaching out is wasting someone's time, jumping the queue, or making a fuss over nothing. GPs and counsellors would far rather see you when things are starting to feel hard than wait until you're really struggling, so none of that is really true.

If you're not sure whether what you're feeling is "enough" to justify asking for help, try thinking about how you'd respond if someone you cared about described feeling the way you do. You'd almost certainly tell them to reach out, and mean it. We tend to minimise our own struggles in a way we'd never accept from someone else, so it's worth extending yourself the same respect you'd offer a friend. If you think you need help, you deserve it, and that's reason enough.

None of this is about doing everything on this page, or doing it perfectly. Some of it might help on an ordinary hard day. On harder days, the most useful step might just be telling someone, whether that's a friend, your GP, or one of the services above. Reaching out is a sign of strength, not a last resort, and needing more support than a routine can give you is never something to feel bad about.

Helpline and self-referral details checked against Samaritans, Shout, Mind and NHS England's own websites, August 2026. This article is for general information only and isn't a substitute for professional advice; please speak to your GP or a qualified professional about your own situation.